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had run a piece describing the Mansion as a "squalid prison" run by a controlling senior citizen who, amid decaying surroundings, doled out weekly allowances to his girlfriends and kept sex parties tightly scheduled.

The story borrowed heavily from a four-year-old tell-all written by a disgruntled former girlfriend named Izabella St. Still, it's enough to make one wonder: What must it be like to be married to Hugh Hefner?

His portrait looms; it’s from the 70s; he’s dressed as Henry VIII. Brande, who went to join the cast of ” Don Adams sings. The men in his library are staring at golf.“When we first started hanging around with Hefner,” says Skip Krask, a doughy former nightclub owner from Chicago, “we used to talk about girls. nightclub popular among 20-year-olds.“You are that rare thing in civilization,” Adams says wryly, “an intelligent man who is happy.”Hef cocks his good ear.

You know I was, as you know, I was in a marriage and a relationship for eight and a half years and... HEFNER: And two children out of it, faithful to it the entire eight and a half years and when it didn't work came out of it a little emotionally beat up and bruised. HOLLY MADISON, HUGH HEFNER'S NUMBER ONE LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND: Well, I've been around the longest and there was a hierarchy even before I came along.

Or he can at least lift one leg high enough to kick two people out of his mansion. Contact Music quotes Karissa as saying, "After a couple of weeks, Hef was getting a little bit upset about the boyfriends, so he wanted us to move out. ‘The girls do not like each other and constantly compete.' The multiple mates put a stress on Hef, too, though his current trio is less hectic than the seven blondes he had before: ' The past girlfriends used to give Hef health problems with all the troubles they caused.' " So that would mean there is some sort of contract for the "girlfriends," right? I do not have a contract to live here like the article said, I am here because i [sic] want to be here and cuz Hef wants me to be here.” Right.

Per Contact Music, the Playboy founder has asked former "girlfriends" Karissa and Kristina Shannon to move off the Playboy property. We need to update people about what's going on.

The twins already had been asked to move out of the storied Playboy Mansion to the nearby Playboy House after Hefner decided to get more serious with another model, Crystal Harris.

Take this bit from the New York Post a few years back: "Kendra [Wilkinson] -- one of Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends featured in ' Girls Next Door' -- is anxious for her Playboy contract to expire. She has a ton of offers and cannot wait to get out, though she is grateful,’ said our spy. Holly, Bridget and I are perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong!!! Others might simply unfriend exes on Facebook when they started dating someone new, but Hef wants the twins gone, gone, gone.


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